Here's a pocketful of paranoia
Just for ya
Wrapped neatly so as to hide
I'm not crazy I'm just sure you've lied
I just can't prove it that's the problem
You're a deceitful cheating goblin
Monday, 30 July 2012
Wednesday, 18 July 2012
Kathryn
Kathryn
Dearest Kathryn I've something to note
It might have taken all year but solemnly quote
I think I love you with all my heart
Its a funny story and so I start
You arrived in your bag of nails that you called a Fiat
With this Lincoln attitude something different all be it
A Lincolner none the less
With a lifestyle and facebook page a total mess
But something stood out past the chip shop floor feast video
The lead actress in "Kathryns life" Sky 1s brand new show
Starring Kathryn Glover
My future kids mother
Yea that's right "kids", mother focker
I'm gonna stick it to you good and proper
Anal shower sex and everything
Hurt to sit down, ouch you'll sing
You've got some funny little things about you
Like the fact you can't stand to see people spew
It used to make you heave
And the room you'd have to leave
But you over came your fear
And that's what makes you special my dear
Not special as in you have to wear a safety helmet and that
Cus quite frankly you'd look a twat
And that's not how I roll
I'd look an asshole
And I've got a reputation to uphold
But thank god that's not you, well so I've been told
We have had some messy nights
And in the mornings you've gave us all quite a fright
You've looked your worst, fuck me you've looked a state
But wait
Even at your lowest, and there's been some real lows
The beautiful person inside you shows
And I'm not trying to say your up the duff
And you've got your legs wide open flashing your stuff
That talk speaks for savages
By the way Ben Good says down there smelt like cabbages?
Before we engage please ensure you soak
It'd be no laughing matter if I got down there and you made me choke
But I digress
One day you'll say yes
And we'll paint a fence and shed
Or whatever it was that jagged edge said
And we'll start a new chapter
And live happily ever after
Just as long as you don't turn out to be a man
Questionable I know
And have massive hands
And don't eat ham
Halal only remember strict muslim now
You can't eat pig but you can eat cow
I think the point of this was to express my love and devotion
I'm under your spell and you've got me with your love potion
But first and foremost before our lives become entwined
Will you start by being my valentine?
Dearest Kathryn I've something to note
It might have taken all year but solemnly quote
I think I love you with all my heart
Its a funny story and so I start
You arrived in your bag of nails that you called a Fiat
With this Lincoln attitude something different all be it
A Lincolner none the less
With a lifestyle and facebook page a total mess
But something stood out past the chip shop floor feast video
The lead actress in "Kathryns life" Sky 1s brand new show
Starring Kathryn Glover
My future kids mother
Yea that's right "kids", mother focker
I'm gonna stick it to you good and proper
Anal shower sex and everything
Hurt to sit down, ouch you'll sing
You've got some funny little things about you
Like the fact you can't stand to see people spew
It used to make you heave
And the room you'd have to leave
But you over came your fear
And that's what makes you special my dear
Not special as in you have to wear a safety helmet and that
Cus quite frankly you'd look a twat
And that's not how I roll
I'd look an asshole
And I've got a reputation to uphold
But thank god that's not you, well so I've been told
We have had some messy nights
And in the mornings you've gave us all quite a fright
You've looked your worst, fuck me you've looked a state
But wait
Even at your lowest, and there's been some real lows
The beautiful person inside you shows
And I'm not trying to say your up the duff
And you've got your legs wide open flashing your stuff
That talk speaks for savages
By the way Ben Good says down there smelt like cabbages?
Before we engage please ensure you soak
It'd be no laughing matter if I got down there and you made me choke
But I digress
One day you'll say yes
And we'll paint a fence and shed
Or whatever it was that jagged edge said
And we'll start a new chapter
And live happily ever after
Just as long as you don't turn out to be a man
Questionable I know
And have massive hands
And don't eat ham
Halal only remember strict muslim now
You can't eat pig but you can eat cow
I think the point of this was to express my love and devotion
I'm under your spell and you've got me with your love potion
But first and foremost before our lives become entwined
Will you start by being my valentine?
Once There Was A Bird Named JBird
Once there was a bird named JBird
Who usually did what she preferred
She would fly over fields and farms
And would get out of mischief through charm
She would often blow things out of proportion
I would advise that you approach her with caution
During one of her regular flights
She was challenged with an almighty height
As she started to climb came the self doubting
And she instantly regretted her outing
But she made it from one side to the other
And she did it with ease and no bother
So what was clear was the fact she had discounted
She had flown over a mole hill not a mountain
Who usually did what she preferred
She would fly over fields and farms
And would get out of mischief through charm
She would often blow things out of proportion
I would advise that you approach her with caution
During one of her regular flights
She was challenged with an almighty height
As she started to climb came the self doubting
And she instantly regretted her outing
But she made it from one side to the other
And she did it with ease and no bother
So what was clear was the fact she had discounted
She had flown over a mole hill not a mountain
One Legged Race
I'm not used to this one legged race
I usually use two feet
I'm not doing as good as I thought
I'm headed for defeat
It's hard for me this whole new change
It sometimes gets me down
I'm not used to things not going my way
I often wear a frown
People make this outfit look easy
They don't show the real deal
Like the anxiety that builds within
The awful thoughts you feel
It hits you deep within your chest
It lingers there for days
The anxiety consumes your thoughts
It clouds your rational ways
I'm really not the jealous type
I've never known what to do
When situations spring to life
I struggle and over think them through
I end up being over accepting
And the truth I start to bend
I make out like things don't bother me
It always fucks me in the end
I bottle it up full to the brim
And stagger for as long as I can bear
Until this mighty weight defeats me
And I scream in to the air
I let it rip and out it spews
This built up anger and resent
It's been left for far too long
All which I never meant
Out of control emotionally
My deepest fear of all
But this is my reality
A burden I have to haul
I usually use two feet
I'm not doing as good as I thought
I'm headed for defeat
It's hard for me this whole new change
It sometimes gets me down
I'm not used to things not going my way
I often wear a frown
People make this outfit look easy
They don't show the real deal
Like the anxiety that builds within
The awful thoughts you feel
It hits you deep within your chest
It lingers there for days
The anxiety consumes your thoughts
It clouds your rational ways
I'm really not the jealous type
I've never known what to do
When situations spring to life
I struggle and over think them through
I end up being over accepting
And the truth I start to bend
I make out like things don't bother me
It always fucks me in the end
I bottle it up full to the brim
And stagger for as long as I can bear
Until this mighty weight defeats me
And I scream in to the air
I let it rip and out it spews
This built up anger and resent
It's been left for far too long
All which I never meant
Out of control emotionally
My deepest fear of all
But this is my reality
A burden I have to haul
Monday, 16 July 2012
Big Angry Sis
Big angry sis
Oh how I do wish
We'd get on just like siblings should
You always look stressed
Just give it a rest
I think you forget that we're blood
You ignore me for days
When you don't get your ways
Sometimes you just act like a child
You're stubborn and mean
It's rather obscene
I can only describe you as wild
You're lovely to start
And you talk from the heart
But then comes your horrible side
All punches and fists
Through this foul angry mist
Dr Jekyll is now Mr Hyde
Oh how I do wish
We'd get on just like siblings should
You always look stressed
Just give it a rest
I think you forget that we're blood
You ignore me for days
When you don't get your ways
Sometimes you just act like a child
You're stubborn and mean
It's rather obscene
I can only describe you as wild
You're lovely to start
And you talk from the heart
But then comes your horrible side
All punches and fists
Through this foul angry mist
Dr Jekyll is now Mr Hyde
The Man In The Stripy Top
The man in the stripy top
Fuck me I wish he would stop
Cringe material he'll so regret
Kind of stuff you wont forget
Waving elbows side to side
This dickheads shocking out with pride
Totally oblivious to lack of skill
This idiot thinks he's out to thrill
What lady in her right mind would
Bed you if she understood
This isn't something you're putting on
You actually think you're a dance floor don
But let's not get ahead with this
It would take more than one wish
To get any bird back to your place
Even those birds with an awful face
Your moves are absolutely cheesy
Take some advice, just follow breezy
When the tracks about to drop
Do the two step don't go over the top
Fuck me I wish he would stop
Cringe material he'll so regret
Kind of stuff you wont forget
Waving elbows side to side
This dickheads shocking out with pride
Totally oblivious to lack of skill
This idiot thinks he's out to thrill
What lady in her right mind would
Bed you if she understood
This isn't something you're putting on
You actually think you're a dance floor don
But let's not get ahead with this
It would take more than one wish
To get any bird back to your place
Even those birds with an awful face
Your moves are absolutely cheesy
Take some advice, just follow breezy
When the tracks about to drop
Do the two step don't go over the top
Big Meal
Big meal, long wait, I'm stuffed
Worth while, chow down, I'm chuffed
Let's pay, who's paid? Short changed
Mum pays, dad pays, enraged
Costs ten, eat free, piss take
Pay nowt, free meal, cheap mates
Fat cats, get drunk, shock out
Dirty dance, pure cheese, no doubt
Next bar, more drunk, get wrecked
Track drops, lean back, two steps
Champagne, vodka, move hips
Spiked drink, tastes strange, short sips
Worth while, chow down, I'm chuffed
Let's pay, who's paid? Short changed
Mum pays, dad pays, enraged
Costs ten, eat free, piss take
Pay nowt, free meal, cheap mates
Fat cats, get drunk, shock out
Dirty dance, pure cheese, no doubt
Next bar, more drunk, get wrecked
Track drops, lean back, two steps
Champagne, vodka, move hips
Spiked drink, tastes strange, short sips
Happy Birthday Nikki Wright
Happy birthday Miss Nikki Wright
Age and beauty go together, am I right?
As you get older you're still looking tight
Let's dance and drink and celebrate tonight
Party hard or go home until its daylight
Don't let none of these bitches steal the limelight
Standard flashing the bar cus your outfit was white
When your jeans tore apart it almost ended the night
Amy Derrick came through much to your delight
Changing outfits in public gave the lads a free sight
Party legend at heart, always one to excite
25 today!! Happy birthday Nikki Wright
Age and beauty go together, am I right?
As you get older you're still looking tight
Let's dance and drink and celebrate tonight
Party hard or go home until its daylight
Don't let none of these bitches steal the limelight
Standard flashing the bar cus your outfit was white
When your jeans tore apart it almost ended the night
Amy Derrick came through much to your delight
Changing outfits in public gave the lads a free sight
Party legend at heart, always one to excite
25 today!! Happy birthday Nikki Wright
Sat On The Edge
Sat on the edge like I'm about to jump
Into this intriguing world called story
The storyteller offers back my attention
Apologises, she thinks this would bore me
The audacity
The cheek
If I don't hear this
How on earth am I to sleep
This lack of new knowledge
The pain of not knowing
Tell us for gods sake
The anticipation is growing
The pauses grow longer
Intensity is burning
Ive been a good lad so far
This agony's so not deserving
I plead one more time
I demand that she utter
This story must be heard
Finally she stutters...
There was no cat story
Just an example without facts
Fuck me
What an anti-climax
Into this intriguing world called story
The storyteller offers back my attention
Apologises, she thinks this would bore me
The audacity
The cheek
If I don't hear this
How on earth am I to sleep
This lack of new knowledge
The pain of not knowing
Tell us for gods sake
The anticipation is growing
The pauses grow longer
Intensity is burning
Ive been a good lad so far
This agony's so not deserving
I plead one more time
I demand that she utter
This story must be heard
Finally she stutters...
There was no cat story
Just an example without facts
Fuck me
What an anti-climax
That Awkward Moment When
That awkward moment when
Your heart drops and then
You smile and try to act polite
You swear to god its not your night
So far you had enjoyed the day
It's like a balancing act at play
You cannot have fun all day long
Without something going wrong
The good and bad go hand in hand
It's such a shame they can't be planned
It tends to catch you by surprise
But always keep your head held high
And remember the following my old mucker
I am JBird motherfucker!
Your heart drops and then
You smile and try to act polite
You swear to god its not your night
So far you had enjoyed the day
It's like a balancing act at play
You cannot have fun all day long
Without something going wrong
The good and bad go hand in hand
It's such a shame they can't be planned
It tends to catch you by surprise
But always keep your head held high
And remember the following my old mucker
I am JBird motherfucker!
Dreary Like The Morning
Dreary like the morning you keep me yawning
With your boring features and your pouring
Of your broken heart all over the floor
You bore me to death so much I would rather slam my head in the door
The endless pain your voice brings me
Like a needle through my eye so now I can't see
That's a relief, I would stare with disbelief
At this horrendous state that I used to call my mate
Those awkward ways and childish days
We all hoped you'd grow out of it
But no such luck, life is shit
Lifes a bitch, you're a dick
You're insane a total prick
An endless nightmare
Bain of my life to alls despair
You make me pull out all my hair
Fuck your mum, I took it there
And your dad, should've slapped you as a lad
You wreck my head and make me mad
If you dropped dead we'd all be glad
You won't be missed by those you've kissed
Good riddance to a bad smell
What you provide is hard to tell
Other than your incessant wining
And your depressing obsessive pining
Wet blanket doesn't do the the job
Pure and simple you're a knob
With your boring features and your pouring
Of your broken heart all over the floor
You bore me to death so much I would rather slam my head in the door
The endless pain your voice brings me
Like a needle through my eye so now I can't see
That's a relief, I would stare with disbelief
At this horrendous state that I used to call my mate
Those awkward ways and childish days
We all hoped you'd grow out of it
But no such luck, life is shit
Lifes a bitch, you're a dick
You're insane a total prick
An endless nightmare
Bain of my life to alls despair
You make me pull out all my hair
Fuck your mum, I took it there
And your dad, should've slapped you as a lad
You wreck my head and make me mad
If you dropped dead we'd all be glad
You won't be missed by those you've kissed
Good riddance to a bad smell
What you provide is hard to tell
Other than your incessant wining
And your depressing obsessive pining
Wet blanket doesn't do the the job
Pure and simple you're a knob
Ex-factor
Something goes down you think it may be you
Something's wrong she's looking awfully blue
Ask the stupid questions like is there anything I can do
But that just pisses her off more. Lost. But none of this is new
You try to get her attention. Nothing. You wonder who is her captor
She has no poker face. But through her voice, somebody has trapped her
You slowly learn its an old boyfriend creeping like a raptor
This feels like a certain case of the dreaded ex-factor
Something's wrong she's looking awfully blue
Ask the stupid questions like is there anything I can do
But that just pisses her off more. Lost. But none of this is new
You try to get her attention. Nothing. You wonder who is her captor
She has no poker face. But through her voice, somebody has trapped her
You slowly learn its an old boyfriend creeping like a raptor
This feels like a certain case of the dreaded ex-factor
A Love So Tight
A love so tight that I can hold it in my hand
Clench my fist and never let it go
Hold it for so long it leaves a mark
Brand me for all to see
Hold no secrets
Let the world know whose love I hold
And let them know that they hold my mine too
A trust that runs deep within
Keeps you warm inside
Most of all when they're not with you
Sneak away from the crowds of life and gaze upon your love
Breath it in
Hold my breath so your love consumes my chest
And hold it there until I have to breath it out
And now you're all around me
Hold my arms out and feel your love between my fingers
Then wrap you tightly back into my palm
I carry your love with me always
Clench my fist and never let it go
Hold it for so long it leaves a mark
Brand me for all to see
Hold no secrets
Let the world know whose love I hold
And let them know that they hold my mine too
A trust that runs deep within
Keeps you warm inside
Most of all when they're not with you
Sneak away from the crowds of life and gaze upon your love
Breath it in
Hold my breath so your love consumes my chest
And hold it there until I have to breath it out
And now you're all around me
Hold my arms out and feel your love between my fingers
Then wrap you tightly back into my palm
I carry your love with me always
Wap Pow
Wap Pow I Spaffed On Your Face
And next thing you pulled that face
And I couldn't place
My concentration
I finished the race
Wap pow I spaffed on your face
Oh my days the look on your face
That whining sound that filled the place
You wiped it off and we took up a chase
Shit. I just spaffed on your face.
We'd had the dirty sex talk before
You'd made it clear not the jaw
Its nasty, demoralising and its raw.
Oops I just spaffed on your face.
Its not my fault
You made me bolt
My load across your hooker chin
That dirty whorish look you give
I couldn't keep it in
That's why I spaffed on your face!
Chill out slag tits!
And next thing you pulled that face
And I couldn't place
My concentration
I finished the race
Wap pow I spaffed on your face
Oh my days the look on your face
That whining sound that filled the place
You wiped it off and we took up a chase
Shit. I just spaffed on your face.
We'd had the dirty sex talk before
You'd made it clear not the jaw
Its nasty, demoralising and its raw.
Oops I just spaffed on your face.
Its not my fault
You made me bolt
My load across your hooker chin
That dirty whorish look you give
I couldn't keep it in
That's why I spaffed on your face!
Chill out slag tits!
Black Dress
Sexy little number
The bird in the black dress
Can't quite get my head around the fact that you think you look a mess
True say it's early it's 8.30 in the morning
And half the people passing us are stretching and yawning
Looks like bare people had a late night last night
But trust me when I say you're looking good in the daylight
Heavy hitting it we drank the bar dry
Standard drunken awkward conversions I think I want to die
The word cringe in the dictionary should be accompanied by my mugshot
These horrendous flashbacks. Parts of the night I purposely forgot
What on earth possessed you to agree to this date?!
Your first impression of me I was an absolute state!
Attributes to note; stalking, awkward talking, text message reading, drug dealing, my my how appealing
Funny game to play. Let's see how many times we can mention Chris
And then remember once again that my Mum is in fact his Dad's sis
He is therefore my cousin by definition
And leaves you in that awkward position
You mentioned far too much info last night that probably shouldn't be relayed
To keep this mouth shut a brother best get paid
Last night was completely and utterly jokes
Just wine this time. Kept well off the JD and cokes
How funny was it when I text and put
You're initials are JD, completely shooting myself in the foot
Totally oblivious to my intoxicated whit
I repeated my best lines sober like an absolute tit
Staring straight through you and into space
You asked me what I was looking at and I said your face
Bladdy original answer just like my mate Bob
I can make up names too you know like little Tim, Big Steve and Fat Rob
If I'm being totally honest and I'm telling the truth
You made way too big a deal about your snaggly tooth
Haha I'm only kidding it's not snaggly I swear
I hadn't noticed till you told me but now I can't help but stare
The bird in the black dress
Can't quite get my head around the fact that you think you look a mess
True say it's early it's 8.30 in the morning
And half the people passing us are stretching and yawning
Looks like bare people had a late night last night
But trust me when I say you're looking good in the daylight
Heavy hitting it we drank the bar dry
Standard drunken awkward conversions I think I want to die
The word cringe in the dictionary should be accompanied by my mugshot
These horrendous flashbacks. Parts of the night I purposely forgot
What on earth possessed you to agree to this date?!
Your first impression of me I was an absolute state!
Attributes to note; stalking, awkward talking, text message reading, drug dealing, my my how appealing
Funny game to play. Let's see how many times we can mention Chris
And then remember once again that my Mum is in fact his Dad's sis
He is therefore my cousin by definition
And leaves you in that awkward position
You mentioned far too much info last night that probably shouldn't be relayed
To keep this mouth shut a brother best get paid
Last night was completely and utterly jokes
Just wine this time. Kept well off the JD and cokes
How funny was it when I text and put
You're initials are JD, completely shooting myself in the foot
Totally oblivious to my intoxicated whit
I repeated my best lines sober like an absolute tit
Staring straight through you and into space
You asked me what I was looking at and I said your face
Bladdy original answer just like my mate Bob
I can make up names too you know like little Tim, Big Steve and Fat Rob
If I'm being totally honest and I'm telling the truth
You made way too big a deal about your snaggly tooth
Haha I'm only kidding it's not snaggly I swear
I hadn't noticed till you told me but now I can't help but stare
Manipulated
Manipulated, she looks through the window into a pleasant world
She can call this place a home
Of course she can because that's what she's being told it is
He'll love you first and foremost
After the dog, his girlfriend and of course himself
Every so often the view from the window becomes smeared
The dirty marks that are reality
But that's what charlie the window cleaner is there for
Just one wipe and already the view appears better
A simple fix
The world outside may seem perfect from the inside looking out
But the view into the house is something quite different
This empty building with fading pretty wallpaper
The aftermath of a preoccupied tenant
This house was once perfect
But can this house still be saved?
A question that is passed around the block
The doors are locked and the view is so picturesque
But who would want to live with such conditions
Restrictions and complications
But who am I to comment
I'm just a nosy neighbour walking his dog
She can call this place a home
Of course she can because that's what she's being told it is
He'll love you first and foremost
After the dog, his girlfriend and of course himself
Every so often the view from the window becomes smeared
The dirty marks that are reality
But that's what charlie the window cleaner is there for
Just one wipe and already the view appears better
A simple fix
The world outside may seem perfect from the inside looking out
But the view into the house is something quite different
This empty building with fading pretty wallpaper
The aftermath of a preoccupied tenant
This house was once perfect
But can this house still be saved?
A question that is passed around the block
The doors are locked and the view is so picturesque
But who would want to live with such conditions
Restrictions and complications
But who am I to comment
I'm just a nosy neighbour walking his dog
Happy Birthday Glover
Hey Miss Glover Happy Birthday chick
My gift to you is some birthday dick
Hop on board bitch. Straddle me good
I'm gonna stick it to you like a nigga from the hood
Birthday greetings, and hair pulling too
Slag tits you're gonna get it all night through
Gonna grace you with the Sabri good stuff
If you're lucky I might even lick your muff
Fingers crossed I won't knock you up duck
Else next birthday you'll be a mother I'd like to fuck
Happy birthday x
My gift to you is some birthday dick
Hop on board bitch. Straddle me good
I'm gonna stick it to you like a nigga from the hood
Birthday greetings, and hair pulling too
Slag tits you're gonna get it all night through
Gonna grace you with the Sabri good stuff
If you're lucky I might even lick your muff
Fingers crossed I won't knock you up duck
Else next birthday you'll be a mother I'd like to fuck
Happy birthday x
Delayed Flight
Delayed flight
As if out of spite
Unfair as fuck
Just my luck
Sabris law at play
Unusual circumstances my arse
This shits a farse
I'm sick to death of waiting
There's no point debating
So I'm gonna sit my ass in this seat
And revel with disappointment at this deceit
If I could fly this bastard plane believe me I would
Fuck the flight attendant and the pilot
I'm about to start a riot
First off they had me waiting at the wrong gate
Then they miss the take off slot and make us all late
I might have something important that I mustn't miss
Open heart surgery or a night out on the piss
These are some waste man tactics
Believe me darling that's my teeth I've just kissed
This shit aint funny. I'm mega pissed
Pissed in both senses of the word
Totally fucked off. Yes that's right I'll flick you the bird
As if out of spite
Unfair as fuck
Just my luck
Sabris law at play
Unusual circumstances my arse
This shits a farse
I'm sick to death of waiting
There's no point debating
So I'm gonna sit my ass in this seat
And revel with disappointment at this deceit
If I could fly this bastard plane believe me I would
Fuck the flight attendant and the pilot
I'm about to start a riot
First off they had me waiting at the wrong gate
Then they miss the take off slot and make us all late
I might have something important that I mustn't miss
Open heart surgery or a night out on the piss
These are some waste man tactics
Believe me darling that's my teeth I've just kissed
This shit aint funny. I'm mega pissed
Pissed in both senses of the word
Totally fucked off. Yes that's right I'll flick you the bird
Chris and Carly
Chris and carly
Tight as fuck like fruit and barley
You guys only met like 28 days ago
I'm staggered. You guys get on like a house on fire
You've pretty much got what most couples desire
Bet you thought I didn't hear you that first night you stayed round
I'd have had to have been deaf not to hear a sound
Girl you got dealt with
It was like a scene from an old western flick
Get in there johnsoc. Whoop that trick
This went on for ages
If it were a book it'd be pages
Long
Chris has a big schlong
And by the way I'm not trying to imply you are a whore
I'm just saying I bet you were mighty sore
After such a long ordeal
I hope you got a breakfast meal
Bedded and breakfast its got a nice ring to it
Complimentary coco pops after I hit that shit
There'll be no mints left on the pillow in the morning
Just dirty bedsheet stain discoveries whilst your yawning
What the fuck is wrong with me
Where the fucks my dignity
Kind of bird that would have a spit roast
Now a notch on johnsocs bedpost
Tight as fuck like fruit and barley
You guys only met like 28 days ago
I'm staggered. You guys get on like a house on fire
You've pretty much got what most couples desire
Bet you thought I didn't hear you that first night you stayed round
I'd have had to have been deaf not to hear a sound
Girl you got dealt with
It was like a scene from an old western flick
Get in there johnsoc. Whoop that trick
This went on for ages
If it were a book it'd be pages
Long
Chris has a big schlong
And by the way I'm not trying to imply you are a whore
I'm just saying I bet you were mighty sore
After such a long ordeal
I hope you got a breakfast meal
Bedded and breakfast its got a nice ring to it
Complimentary coco pops after I hit that shit
There'll be no mints left on the pillow in the morning
Just dirty bedsheet stain discoveries whilst your yawning
What the fuck is wrong with me
Where the fucks my dignity
Kind of bird that would have a spit roast
Now a notch on johnsocs bedpost
The Ballad Of Karl Flanner
Karl Flanner
There are 70 million people in the uk
There are almost 7 billion people in the world
Anything you try mate I guarantee someone has already done better than you
It's a depressing thought
But why go through life a worry wart
Karl Flanner
You could have a ferrari convertible and drive around with the top down all week
But I guarantee that you'll still feel depressed when the clouds come out and its rains
Own any car in the world mate and there'll always release a better one
Why try to compete.
Don't try to win this endless feat
Karl Flanner
You might have the best job you could think
But you still work for someone else
Should this be a reason to feel depressed?
Should you beat yourself up for not being the top dog
You should pride your self on having a sick job
Karl Flanner
You might not own a house
But guess what neither do a lot of people these days
The average house price has soared
Its ridiculous now mate
Remember mate don't be ashamed of what you've got
Back in the day you didn't even have a piss pot
Karl Flanner
You might worry that the whole bar thinks your well tight
But trust me you really don't have to buy some bubbly
How many of these people are you going to meet again
You've got nothing to prove to folk
Paying 80 pound for four sips of champagne is a total joke
Karl Flanner
The point I'm trying to make
Is don't compare yourself to everyone else
Like I've already said, there are too many people in the world and they're more than likely better than you at something
Don't fixate on other people and obsess
Just marvel at the brilliance of your own success
Karl Flanner
I know that deep inside yourself
There lies a dormant inner Karl
Content with everything that life has to offer
You need to wake this inner being
It'll prove a job worth while
You'll learn to appreciate yourself and laugh and joke and smile
There are 70 million people in the uk
There are almost 7 billion people in the world
Anything you try mate I guarantee someone has already done better than you
It's a depressing thought
But why go through life a worry wart
Karl Flanner
You could have a ferrari convertible and drive around with the top down all week
But I guarantee that you'll still feel depressed when the clouds come out and its rains
Own any car in the world mate and there'll always release a better one
Why try to compete.
Don't try to win this endless feat
Karl Flanner
You might have the best job you could think
But you still work for someone else
Should this be a reason to feel depressed?
Should you beat yourself up for not being the top dog
You should pride your self on having a sick job
Karl Flanner
You might not own a house
But guess what neither do a lot of people these days
The average house price has soared
Its ridiculous now mate
Remember mate don't be ashamed of what you've got
Back in the day you didn't even have a piss pot
Karl Flanner
You might worry that the whole bar thinks your well tight
But trust me you really don't have to buy some bubbly
How many of these people are you going to meet again
You've got nothing to prove to folk
Paying 80 pound for four sips of champagne is a total joke
Karl Flanner
The point I'm trying to make
Is don't compare yourself to everyone else
Like I've already said, there are too many people in the world and they're more than likely better than you at something
Don't fixate on other people and obsess
Just marvel at the brilliance of your own success
Karl Flanner
I know that deep inside yourself
There lies a dormant inner Karl
Content with everything that life has to offer
You need to wake this inner being
It'll prove a job worth while
You'll learn to appreciate yourself and laugh and joke and smile
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